现在人们都很忙，忙着学习，忙着工作，忙着挣钱，连旅游都匆匆忙忙的，甚至都没有时间笑了。http://www.51education.net来自无忧英语教育幽默笑话频道
我希望这些幽默句子能让你在学习英语的同时，放松一下心情....


快乐无处不在。

Seen on the bathroom walls of Concordia University: 'Ignorance is bliss.' and right underneath it... 'I don't know what this means but I'm happy.
Concordia大学卫生间的墙上写着：“无知是福“，正下方写着：“我不知道这是什么意思，但我很高兴”。

结婚的结果还是不错的。

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy, if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
想办法结婚吧，如果你找到一个好妻子，你会幸福的，如果找了一个恶老婆，你会成为一个哲学家。
注：很多时候婚姻幸福会磨灭人们的斗志，而婚姻不幸给人带来苦难，但会让人思考。
希腊著名的哲学家苏格拉底的老婆是个泼辣的女人,动不动就会遭她无礼谩骂。

虽然我们不再有快乐的童年时光，但我们应该尽量保持童心。

It's Never Too Late To Have A Happy Childhood.
拥有一个快乐的童年从来都不晚。

信心很重要。

The happy idea that one Englishman can beat three Frenchman, encourages, and sometimes enabled, one Englishman, in reality, to beat two.
“一个英国人能够打败三个法国人”这种快乐的观念鼓励着英国人，有时侯能够使一个英国人实际上打败两个法国人。
信仰快乐。

The believer is happy, the doubter is wise
有信仰的人是愉快的，怀疑者是聪明的。
注：信仰上帝的人每当有了烦恼或者困惑就求助于上帝，他们是快乐的；怀疑者愿意动脑筋去思考，去分辨，脑筋越用越聪明。

任何事情都可以让人高兴。

I’m delighted to find that after all these years my tennis game has not deteriorated.[退化] It’s just as bad as before.
我很高兴这些年我的网球技术没有退化，还象以前那么臭。

不该激动时不要瞎激动。

A boy frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and his Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?"
"No," says his Advisor, "in her biology class."
一个雄性小青蛙打通心灵热线，他的私人心理咨询师告诉他，“你将遇到一个年轻美貌的女孩，她想知道你所有的事情”。
小青蛙很激动，“太棒了，我会在晚会上遇见她吗”？
“不，在她的生物课上”。

终于逃离了父母的唠叨，朋友的骚扰，太自由了。

Think how it must feel to be alone in New York, without a friend or relation at hand, with no one to know or care what to do. It must be great!
想一想一个人在纽约是什么感受，身边没有一个亲戚朋友，没有人知道你做什么，也没有人关心。那肯定太棒了！
场景再现：身在异乡，独自一人的感受。

别人意外发现自己做了好事。

The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good deed anonymously, and then have it found out by accident

最愉快的事儿是偷偷做好事，然后偶然被发现。


人的一生要经历很多瞎高兴。

A weary hiker stumbled upon another hiker deep in the North Woods. “Am I ever glad to see you,” said the hiker. “I've been lost for three days.”
“Don’t be too relieved,” answered the second hiker. “I’ve been lost for three weeks.”
一个疲惫的野游者在森林深处遇到另一个野游者，他说，“非常高兴遇见你，我已经迷路三天了”。
“别太放松了，”第二个野游者回答，“我已经迷路三个月了”。


真实世界无奇不有，如果我们培养一双幽默的眼睛，生活里到处是笑话。

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
我讲笑话的方式是讲实话，那是世界上最可笑的笑话。

丑和美没有绝对的界限。
Ugliness is a point of view: an ulcer is wonderful to a pathologist.
丑陋是一种观点，溃疡对病理学家是美妙的东西。


免费的晚餐让你高兴。

Hasn't this been just a wonderful evening? The setting, the music, the program ____ and the dinner was served just the way I like it ____ free.
难道这不是一个美好的夜晚吗？这布景、这音乐、这节目 ——晚餐的供应方式也是喜欢的那种——免费的


演讲完了，没人鼓掌掌声，你依然快乐。

Thank you for that wonderful round of restraint.
谢谢你们了不起的克制力。



乐观的态度。

Dad: What is the meaning of this F on your report card?
Junior: Fantastic?
爸爸：你成绩单上的F是什么意思？
Junior：棒极了！


自我感觉非常良好的乐观主义者说：
When I’m good I’m very, very good --- but when I’m bad I’m better.
当我感觉好时，我非常、非常好——当我感觉不好时，我比较好。

多看事情好的一面：

It was said President Ford gave American three years of good government and eight years of comedy [喜剧] material.
据说总统福特给了美国三年的好政府和八年的喜剧素材。
注：讽刺福特总统任职8年闹了很多笑话。


虽然空气污染这么厉害，也还是活着好。

Twilight was descending over Beijing …“How good it was to be alive,” I thought, inhaling deep lungful of carbon monoxide.
微光正降临洛杉机……活着真好，我想，深深地吸了一口一氧化碳。

保持心情愉快，不怨天尤人。

Laugh and the world laughs with you; snore and you sleep alone.
笑，别人和你一起笑；打呼噜，你独自睡觉。

吃饭就是一种享受。

We're talking about a fellow who really enjoys his food. I mean, who else carries around a picture of a refrigerator in his wallet?
我们正在谈论一个真正把吃饭当成享受的人，别人谁的口袋里老是装着冰箱的照片呢？
注：冰箱里放这肉包子、油条，还有半碗剩豆浆。

理想的人生。

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
好朋友、好书和一个迷糊的良心就是理想的人生了。
注：在道德底线以上，良心感不要太重，不要太多地自责自己，能糊涂时且糊涂。

乐观的态度。

Ronnie: Is your new hunting horse well behaved?
Johnnie: He certainly is. He has such good manners that when we come to a fence, he stops and lets me go over first.
Ronnie：你的新猎马表现得好吗？
Johnnie：非常好。他风度很好，我们到栅栏时，他就停下让我先过去

乐观地对待死亡。

In case my life should end because of the cannibals, I hope someone will write on my tombstone, “we have eaten Dr. Schweitzer. He was good to the end.”
假如我的生命结束在食人族，我希望他们在我的墓碑上写上，“我们吃了Schweitzer博士，他（从头）到脚都好（吃）”。
注：He was good to the end还可理解成：他一直到生命的最后都很好。


乐观地看待堵车：

We’re lucky we have an apartment. If we lived in our car, we'd be home by now.
幸运地是我们还有房子住，我们如果住在汽车里，现在就到家里了。
注：你爸爸在车里抱怨交通拥堵，你这么劝他。



乐观地看待肥胖：

I have flabby[松弛] thighs[大腿], but fortunately my stomach covers them.
我大腿很松弛，但幸运得是被我的肚子盖住了。
注：眼睛向下看不见大腿，只能看见肚子。


An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge[凸出部分] for a curve.[曲线]
乐观主义者是一个错把赘肉当作曲线的女孩。


场景再现：你演讲完，只得到观众礼貌性的掌声，你说：
I want to thank you for that thunderous[I-] ovation.[S]
我想感谢你们雷鸣般的欢呼声。


乐观地看待秃顶：

Frankly, I never considered myself bald until I went to a formal dinner and bent over to pick up a napkin. The woman next to me looked down at my head, turned to the waiter and said, “No melon, thank you.”
坦白说，我从不认为我秃顶，直到有一次我去一家正规的餐厅，弯腰捡餐巾时，挨着我坐的女人低头看着我的脑袋，转向服务员说，“不要瓜，谢谢你”。
注：错把秃头当成了瓜。

乐观的艺术家：

The neighbors love it when I play the piano. They break my window to hear me better.
邻居非常喜欢听我弹钢琴，他们为了听得更真切打碎了我的窗子。

有进取心的乐观主义者。

I'm basically an optimist. I'd say the glass is half full. But I'm gonna find out who drank the other half and will sue his ass all the way up to the Supreme Court. So it’s safe to say I’m an aggressive optimist.
我基本上是个乐观主义者。我会说杯子是半满的。但我要找出是谁喝了那半杯，并控告他直到最高法院。所以可以说我是个有进取心的乐观主义者。
注：悲观主义者和乐观主义者看事物的态度不同，如果有半杯水，乐观主义者说那杯水是“半满的”，悲观主义者说那杯水是“半空的”。我们不但认为那杯水是“半满的”，还非要找出谁喝了那半杯水，很有进取心。

自己对自己满意。

你如果有机会上台领奖不妨这么说来表现你自己：

I'm kinda embarrassed getting this honor because I really am a very modest person. An extremely modest person. A tremendously talented and wonderfully deserving modest person.
得到这个荣誉我有点尴尬，因为我真得是一个非常谦虚的人，一个极度谦虚的人，一个非常有才能真正配得上这个荣誉的谦虚的人。


It is an amiable illusion, which the shape of our planet prompts, that every man is at the top of the world.
我们星球的形状让我们产生亲切的幻觉：每个人都站在世界之巅。

I have little patience with anyone who is not self-satisfied with himself. The high spot of every day is when I first catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
我对不满意自己的人没有多少耐心…我每天的高潮是第一眼瞥见镜中的我时。

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifetime romance.
爱自己是一生浪漫的开始。

I can live for two months on a good compliment.[赞美]
我依靠赞美能活两个月。

And finally, I want to thank the one person above all others who has worked and slaved and sacrificed for so many years to bring this moment about…….me.
最后，我最想感谢一个人，这么多年来他一直拼命工作，牺牲了很多才给我带来了这一时刻…那就是我。

注：演讲感谢词。

任何人都会感到自己的强大，修剪树枝的工人也能感到自己的统治力量。

Secateurs give you a wonderful feeling of power; and you become a menace to all yousurvey.
剪枝夹给你一种美妙的力量感，你对所有看到的东西都构成威胁。


你每天对着镜子说：
I love you. You fascinating creative creature!

我爱你，你这个令人着迷的有创造力的家伙。
注：自己夸奖自己，增强自信心


你不同意自卑：

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent[同意]。
没有你的同意没人能使你感到自卑。
注：如果你不富裕，长得也不英俊漂亮，也不是那么有才华，但你依然可以享受自己平凡的生活，依然可以很自信，你甚至还有点儿可怜那些自以为是的家伙。


They have been complimented my a great many times, and they always embarrass me ---- I always feel they have not said enough.
他们总是称赞我，这使我很不安——我总感觉他们说得不够多。


如果想表达“幸福的与金钱无关”，学习下面的句子：

It’s hard to say what does bring happiness. Poverty and wealth have both failed.
很难说什么能确确实实带来幸福，贫穷和财富都失败了。
注：幸福就是一种感觉，与财富无关。

如果想反驳“金钱带不来幸福”的观点，请学习下面的表达：

I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor --- and believe me, rich is better.
我曾经富过，也曾经穷过——相信我，还是有钱好。

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.
那些说金钱买不来幸福的人不知道去哪儿购物。

How do you know if a rich man is unhappy when you have never been a rich man?
你没有当过有钱人你怎么知道有钱人不幸福？

Money doesn't always bring happiness. A man with ten million dollars is no happier
than a man with nine million dollars.

钱不总能带来幸福。有1000万美元的人不比有900万美元的人更快乐。
注：有1000万美元和有900万美元都是有钱人。“有1000万美元的人不一定比有100美元的人更快乐”才是论述“钱不总能带来幸福”的观点。

Blessed are the rich, for they can pay their way into the Kingdom of Heaven.
富人是有福的，他们能够付得起去天国的路费。