You lose arguments with inanimate objects. http://www.51education.net来自无忧英语教育幽默笑话频道
你输掉了同无生命的东西的辩论。

You believe that spilling a beer is alcohol abuse.
你相信洒了啤酒就是滥用酒精。

You fall down a flight of steps and DON''T spill a drop of your beer.
你在台阶上跌倒，没有洒掉一滴啤酒。

You grow a beard because it stops beer that''s running down your chin.
你蓄起了胡子，因为它能挡住顺着你的下巴流淌的啤酒。

You explain to your bank manager that you spent your overdraft mainly on beer and women; the rest I just wasted.
你向你的银行经理解释说你把透支的钱主要花在了啤酒和女人身上，“其它的钱我就浪费掉了”。

You spell Alcohol with a capital letter out of respect.
你出于尊重用大写拼写Alcohol[酒精]

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
你不得不抓住草坪防止从地球上掉下去。

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
你的医生在你的酒精系统里发现了血液的痕迹。

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I don''t think so!
一天24小时，一次24 瓶酒，巧合吗“——我不这么认为！

Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT''S a drinking problem!
有两双手，但只有一张嘴…现在这就是喝酒的问题。

You can focus better with one eye closed.
闭上一支眼睛你能对得更准。

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
你在酒吧时停车场好象已经移动了。

You fall off the floor... 你从地板上摔下去。

Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
蚊子袭击你之后嗡嗡作响。

You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed.
你在卧室醒来，你的内衣在卫生间，你穿着衣服睡着了。

The whole bar says ''Hi'' when you come in...
整个酒吧在说，“咳！当你进来……

Don''t recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
只有通过酒杯的底部才能认出妻子。