1、Americans accept that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend[瘾君子], a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if he doesn’t drive there’s something wrong with him. http://www.51education.net来自无忧英语教育幽默英语
美国人可以接受酒鬼、瘾君子、打妻子者,甚至记者,但如果他不开车,他一定有什么地方不对劲。
幽默注释:把记者和酒鬼、瘾君子列在一起记者可能会不太高兴。
2、Yes, I’m balding. Oh, yes. I am losing hair and I hate bald jokes. They are so mean! I envy the bald eagles, because I also want to be protected by the Washington Convention.
是啊,
我是个秃头。确实如此,我的头发越来越少了。我很讨厌有关秃头的笑话,根本就是人身攻击嘛!我真羡慕秃鹰啊,真希望也能受到《华盛顿公约》的保护。
幽默注释:秃头发表的慷慨陈词的讲话。
3、场景再现:教堂门口公告栏上写着:
Blessed are they who fall asleep during the sermon[布道] but stay awake during the collection.
布道时睡觉,筹款时醒着的人有福了。
幽默注释:布道时睡不睡觉没关系,筹款时醒着就行了。
4、Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
人是唯一会脸红的动物,或者说需要脸红。
幽默注释:马克吐温说的。有些人干的坏事最凶猛的动物根本干不出来,这些人需要脸红,(但他们不知道什么是脸红。)
5、Your administration is involved in the obstruction of justice, the bribing of witnesses, the forging of papers, wire-tapping, perjury, and using the mails to defraud.”
“Good God, nobody’s perfect!”
“你的经营涉嫌妨碍司法公正,贿赂证人,伪造文件,窃听,作伪证,利用邮件行骗……”
“好了,好了,人无完人!”
幽默注释:这个人完人的标准比较低。
6、场景再现:解释“灾难”和“不幸”的区别:
If, for instance, Mr. Gladstone were to fall into the river, that would be a misfortune. But if anyone were to pull him out, that would be a calamity.
例如,如果Gladstone先生掉到了河里,那是不幸,但如果有人把他拉上来,那就是灾难了。
幽默注释:把他救上来,对世界是一场灾难。
7、God shows his contempt for wealth by the kind of person he selects to receive it.
上帝通过选择接受财富的人来显示他对财富的蔑视。
幽默注释:意思是上帝选择很多人格很差的人让他们有钱,足见上帝对财富的蔑视。
8、Although there exist many thousands of subjects for elegant conversation, there are people who cannot meet a cripple without talking about feet.
尽管存在无数个优雅的话题,总有一些人遇见瘸子就谈论脚。
幽默注释:有些人说话没有水平,别人不爱听什么他就说什么。
9、She was tall, shapely, beautiful, had a dazzling smile, and wore pink boots. He had never seen pink boots before, so he fell madly in love with her.
她高高的个子、匀称的身材、漂亮的脸蛋、迷人的微笑,还穿着一双粉红色的鞋子。他以前从没见过粉红色的鞋子,他疯狂地爱上了她。
幽默注释:爱情是奇怪的,很多时候没有道理可言。
10、I apologize for saying your parents were degenerates.
我说你父母堕落,我向你道歉。
幽默注释:表面上是道歉,其实又说了一遍“你父母堕落”。道歉不是因为说错了,而是因为说了出来。
11、场景再现:有人瞧不起你或者根本没有瞧不起你的意思,你都可以这么说:
First, I want to thank you all for this token of your depreciation.
首先,我想感谢你们这种轻视的表示。
12、Why do economists carry their diplomas on their dashboards?
So they can park in the (morally/intellectually) handicapped parking.
为什么经济学家在汽车仪表台上放着学位证书?
他们能停在(道德/智力)残疾人停车厂。
幽默注释:一些经济学家道貌岸然,拿着上市公司的钱,替公司说话,忽悠老百姓,这些人道德上有残疾。还有一些经济学家在那假模假样搞什么宏观分析,实际上一点儿用处都没有,这些人是智力上残疾。当然大部分经济学家还是很优秀的。
13、你可以这样调侃自己虽然年龄越来越大,可是智慧并没有随着增长:
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine[说法] that age brings wisdom.
我岁数越大越不相信“岁月带来智慧”熟悉的教条。
14、Wit in conversation is, as the midwives’ say, a quick conception and an easy delivery.
谈话里的机智就象接生婆说的:迅速孕育,自然分娩。
幽默注释:Conception:构思;怀孕 Delivery:发送;分娩。a quick conception and an easy delivery.还可理解成:迅速构思,脱口而出。
15、场景再现:如果你想说某人长得丑,可以这么说:
Frazier is so ugly he should donate his face to the US Bureau of wild life.
Frazier长得非常丑,他应该把他的脸捐献给美国野生动物局。
幽默注释:你还可以进一步说:他长得太丑了,捐给动物园人家都不要。
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