Doctor: Please open your mouth, madam.
Lady: Thank you very much, doctor.
Doctor: Why do you thank me?
Lady: Because my husband always asked me to shut up. 　

2.
A teacher asked asked one of his students:" What is the longest and what is the shortest?" The student answered immediately:" The last several minutes of a class is the longest, while the last several minutes of an exam is the shortest."

3.
The teacher asked Tom: "Why did you come to school so late this morning?" "Someone lost one yuan." Answered Tom. "Oh, now I know, you helped him find the money," the teacher said. "No, I stood on the money until the person went away," was Tom's reply.

4.
Teacher:David,why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning?
David: What was it ?
Teacher: Eggs.
David: Wrong, teacher. That was yesterday. 　

5.
Teacher:Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century? Pupil: Yes, sir, I can. They are all dead. 　

6.
Tom: How's your little brother, Johnny?
Johnny: He's ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tom: That's too bad. How did it happen?
Johnny: We betted who could lean further out of the window, and he won. 　

7.
A man traveling at 130 miles per hour on the road was stopped by traffic police. " Sorry, officer." said the driver, " Was I driving too fast?" " No, sir. You were flying too slow." 　

8.
Girl: Remember that vase you always worried I would break?
Mom: Of course. What about it?
Girl: Your worries are over. 　

9.
Patient: You say carrot is good for eyesight. Is that true?
Doctor: Certainly. Have you ever seen rabbits wearing glasses? 　

10.
David: Did you know that we are related?
Neighbor: Goodness, how can that be?
David: Your dog and my dog are brothers.