English is a Stupid Language

 There is no egg in the eggplant(茄子)
 No ham in the hamburger
 And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple(菠萝).
 English muffins(一种食品) were not invented in England
 French fries were not invented in France.
 
 We sometimes take English for granted
 But if we examine its paradoxes(自相矛盾) we find that  Quicksand takes you down slowly
 Boxing rings are square  And a guinea(几内亚) pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
 
 If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.  If the plural of tooth is teeth
 Shouldn't the plural of phone booth(亭) be phone beeth
 If the teacher taught,  Why didn't the preacher(祈祷者) praught.
 
  Why do people recite(背诵) at a play  Yet play at a recital?(独奏会)
 Park(停车) on driveways and  Drive on parkways
  Of a language where a house can burn up as  It burns down
 And in which you fill in a form  By filling it out
 And a bell is only heard once it goes!
  
 When the stars are out they are visible 
 But when the lights are out they are invisible
 And why it is that when I wind up my watch  It starts
 But when I wind up(结束) this poem  It ends.